The Bloomer Blues

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud as mom relayed the story to me about my little cousin’s Christmas morning.    Apparently as the six year old began to open up her pile of presents on Christmas day the first package she came across didn’t quite meet her expectations.  “You have got to be kidding me? BLOOMERS!” the little blonde said in disgust before she went on to the “good” stuff that was hidden in the rest of the presents.  In case any of you need an education on Southern lingo, bloomers is another word we use for underwear, or if you want to get even fancier…panties.  When I thought and laughed about her reaction I could relate.  Who really wants bloomers for Christmas?  But I know that there are things called necessities in life and unless something drastically changes in my world I need bloomers.  Her parents knew she needed them too, so they threw them in along with the toys and the fun stuff.  In my life there are so many times I don’t ask God to give me the necessities. If I’m being honest, most of the time when I ask God for things, I want the “good” stuff!  The exciting stuff! I don’t often pray for my daily bread, for clothes on my back, and shoes on my feet.  I live in America where those things are taken for granted every day, they are expected.  The fast food mentality, “give me what I want and give it to me now.” Waiting is not an option.

I have a tendency to ask for the exciting and miraculous things.  Which isn’t inherently bad, there just needs to be balance.  I am to trust Him in all things.  Just like a loving parent, God sometimes chooses to give me what I need not what I want.  He gives me things I didn’t ask for versus the things I do.  Just like a child I can become self-centered and have a “hissy fit” until I can regain my composure realizing God knows more about what I should have and when, than I do.  He is sovereign, I am not.  When I start getting an attitude problem receiving the necessities from God I know I need to check myself because I may have gotten too big for my bloomers!  Have a great week!

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”  James 1:17 NIV

Don't Let Grief Overwhelm Your Life

Thursday December 23, 2010 started out as an exciting day for me.  I woke up with the anticipation of a Christmas dinner I had planned for my friends that evening.   This had been a year of many changes for me, I had recently closed on my first home in October and this dinner was the start of what I hoped to be a new Christmas tradition.  The idea of hosting a gathering was exhilarating for me and I spent the day cooking, decorating, and preparing my home to feel warm and inviting.  Halfway through the day things got even better, my best friend called me chattering so fast and squealing with delight.  I couldn’t understand a word of what she was exclaiming, I had to ask her three times to repeat herself and slow down.  Then it came through, her boyfriend had asked her to marry him!  They were engaged!  This day couldn’t get any better!

The time for the dinner came; I shared such a wonderful time with my newly engaged friends, along with another close friend, her husband, and little girl.  We enjoyed great food and fellowship. 

As the time approached for me to say good bye to them all, my heart felt so full.  I was blissful that the dinner went so well and was thankful for the time spent with those that I loved.  I was thrilled about my best friend’s engagement.   I was grateful to God for the moments like these that made life good. 

 Then the unexpected phone call came.  Mom called to say my cousin Crystal was being rushed to the emergency room after collapsing at her home. All within a matter of minutes, disbelief turned to frustration, frustration turned to fear, fear turned to prayer.  I thought she would be okay, but then as I processed it all I thought, she could die.  I prayed, I asked others to pray and I jumped in the car to drive from Christiansburg to Pulaski trying to fight back the panic.  I didn’t get far before mom called me back, Crystal didn’t make it.  My world turned upside down and I couldn’t accept what I was hearing, she was only twenty nine years old.  She couldn’t be gone forever. I had never felt such grief in my entire life; I won’t go into the details about what followed that phone call except to say it was horrible.  I now knew what it was like to have your day go from wonderful to earth shattering, within just a matter of hours. 

It’s been three years since that day.  My family and I will never be the same.  Just like so many other families we know the pain of loss and also when it happens around the holidays.  For many people holidays are just another reminder of what has been lost and that there is an empty seat at the dinner table.  And until you have experienced it, there are no words to adequately describe the grief.  What I have learned is people grieve differently and that grief has an important place in the healing process.

In my time of grief and contemplating life I needed God’s comfort and wisdom. He provided.  There were times I had good old fashioned “pity parties.” He was there.  I let myself have moments of despair and hopelessness, where I questioned everything.  I even questioned God.  He let me. 

As I emerged from the other side, I realized several things.  There is nothing more important than where I spend eternity.  Death can happen so quickly no matter what age, would I be ready if it happened today?  Do I have the assurance of being with Jesus in heaven when that day comes for me?  What about the ones I love, have I shared the gospel with them?  Have I told them about the saving grace of God and have they had the opportunity to know Him?  Do I love those around me well?  Do they know I love them? 

For those that will pass on that have a relationship with Christ, I can be comforted in knowing that in heaven ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Rev 21:4)

I found that going through this was a training ground for me to be able to comfort someone else.  Not very long after my cousin passed away, one of my dear friends lost her husband to a tragic accident, he too was only twenty nine.  I have no doubt in my mind that the lessons I learned through my own grief enabled me to be a better comforter to her when she needed someone.

The final lesson took me a while to really grasp, years actually.  Crystal loved me and because of that love she would want the best for me.  She would want me to be happy.  She would want me to remember her but not in a depressing way, she would want me to laugh and remember the good times we all shared.  She would never want her death to be the cause of me not living life to the fullest, becoming hopeless, and dwelling too much on the past. 

So this Christmas season I just want to share with you that it does get better.  No of course it never goes away, you don’t just “get over” losing someone you love.  You just get a little tougher and press forward.  You learn to cope with it.  The things I’ve shared are what have made me stronger through the grief.  As I said everyone’s grief is different, I don’t claim to know exactly how someone else feels.  But my sincere hope for sharing this story is to comfort and encourage those of you that may be suffering right now. Don’t waste your life by letting grief overwhelm you. I believe God and our lost loved ones want us to truly live and do so with joy while we are on earth.  If you can’t find the strength to do it for yourself right now, do it for them.  I hope each of you have a blessed Christmas and make many more beautiful memories with the friends and family you have, please don’t take life for granted. 

Your Tongue Reveals Your Heart, Not Your Intentions

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.  With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.  Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?  My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.  James 3:7-12 NIV

I can’t believe I said that.  I told myself before I left the house today that I was going to do better at watching what I say.  And THAT just came out of my mouth. 

Those thoughts have gone through my mind more times than I can count.  I start my day with the best of intentions, with a desire to say and do the right things and then I get in a situation where my tongue gets out of control.  It happens so quickly sometimes, I’ve always been a blunt person and often times I don’t give my brain enough time to filter what comes out of my mouth.  The words found in James chapter one about being quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, seem far away when I’m caught up in the moment. 

I wish that self-control was the only reason this predicament happens but there is a much deeper root tied to what comes out of my mouth.  Luke 6:45 says,” A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”  The core issue is a matter of the heart.  If problems exist on the inside they will come spilling to the surface.  Bitterness, anger, jealousy, selfish ambition, unforgiveness, pride, lust, negativity, criticism, you name it, it will not stay hidden.  I don’t have the power in my own strength to hide those heart problems.  I can’t help but notice in James 3:7-8 the indication that humans have been able to tame all kinds of beasts but never the tongue.  The tongue can only be tamed by my Divine helper, the only One that can transform my heart. 

The unfortunate thing about being a Christian who is failing to control my words is how it affects my credibility to those around me.  My tongue reveals my heart, not my intentions. Many people in this world expect Christians to appear perfect in word and deed, anything less is to be labeled a hypocrite.  That is an unattainable standard that would require perfection.  Besides Jesus there has never been a sinless person that has walked this earth. I often wish that people knew my true intentions the way God does, but all they can see is what is on the outside.  All they hear are the words I immediately feel convicted over saying and wish I could take back. Does this mean I just throw my hands up and not try?  Of course not!  I should always be concerned about the impression I am making and how I am representing Christ to the world.  The bible says I am to work out my own salvation.  I am to continually grow in stature to get closer and closer to the fullness that is IN Christ, so that others may be drawn to Him through my example. 

Brothers and sisters do not become discouraged with this struggle of the heart!  Spiritual warfare is a daily battle, make up your mind to fight it with perseverance.  At no point does scripture say that life is going to be easy with no sacrifices.  Rely on God and His word to continue to transform your heart so that your words become more and more conformed to Christ. Just because you fail at something doesn’t mean you are a failure! Keep trying every day.  Knowing that while other people cannot possibly see what is inside of you, God does, He loves you, and is there to forgive as many times as you need Him to. 

“They gave our Master a crown of thorns. Why do we hope for a crown of roses?”  Martin Luther

An Accidental Tradition

As many of you already know I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior in June of 2005 at the age of twenty three.  In the time that followed my conversion to Christianity I was hungry to find music, films, and books related to my faith.  I quickly found that when it came to music and films the Christian genre was sometimes lacking compared to its secular counterparts.  I ran into some boring clichés along the way.  The films were oftentimes full of faulty angles and bad acting.  But as time passed I really was able to find some diamonds in the rough and I also see that as we progress farther and farther into the 21^st century the Christian mediums seem to be catching up as well.  For a girl that loves music and cinema as much as I do I have been a very happy camper lately because of these positive changes.  

One of these diamonds that I found was released at theaters nationwide in 2006.  It is called The Nativity Story.  I remember being so excited to see a Christian film that actually made it to the mainstream movie theaters (in my opinion they are too few and far between).  I was not disappointed when I went to see it.   I was impressed at the details included in the depiction of the everyday life of the Jewish people.  I was thrilled that the makers had stayed true to the biblical account of Christ’s birth found in the gospel of Luke.  They embellished a little on what may or may not have happened between Mary and Joseph but nothing that had me yelling BLASPHEMY, BLASPHEMY!  I loved that they showed the relationship between Mary and Elizabeth (mother of John the Baptist).  If you are looking for a movie that has all kinds of bells and whistles just for entertainment’s sake this may not be for you.  But if you are anything like me and truly value a biblical story that actually follows what the bible says, you will appreciate this film. 

This movie has become an accidental tradition for my Christmas season in the years since it has been released.  I find myself watching it every year in December and I always cry at the end as I watch an illustration of the birth of Christ.  My heart overflows as I take the time to watch a reminder of my Savior’s humble and miraculous beginning.  I meditate on what His birth and death have meant for my own life and how He made it possible for me to have salvation.  If you are looking for a good movie to watch yourself or share with your family this Christmas, check this one out!  Follow along in Luke 1:1 through 2:21 to see the account of Jesus conception and birth. 

Would you like to share any of the traditions your family does for Christmas?  I’d love to hear how you make Christmas special at your house. 

Other Christian movies that I would recommend for their cinematography and a good message are:

Fireproof, Facing the Giants, Courageous, Time Changer, The Gospel, End of the Spear, Amazing Grace, The Passion of the Christ, The Gospel of John, The Apocalypse, Paul the Apostle, Therese, Left Behind series, Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, The Chronicles of Narnia (Christian undertones), and One Night with the King (story of Esther, I have a few disagreements with this one but the quality of filming was good)

Distractions Dissolve Discernment

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10 NIV


Just woke up, let me grab my cell phone from the charger.  Oh B texted, let me answer her.  I need coffee and breakfast, but I guess I need to grab my bible and my daily devotion on the way to the kitchen.  Bark, bark, bark.  I need to let the dogs out for their potty break.  I walk out of my room forgetting to grab my devotional.  I let the dogs out and sit down to get my breakfast.  Oh B answered my text.  Texting, texting, texting.  I wonder if I got a delivery confirmation for that package I ordered?  I sit down at the computer to start checking all of my email accounts and since I’m already there I check my social media sites too.  The phone rings, it’s my Nanny, “Sure I’ll be over there to pick you up in about 10 minutes.”  I’m out the door…

This is what my days have been like recently.  I keep being brought to a reoccurring theme right now, distraction, and how that distraction hinders the voice of God in my life.  His voice is always so quiet as it is.  I find myself lacking discernment in many areas of my life because I’ve let other sounds drown out His voice.  My focus has been blurred.  Dogs whining and barking to be let outside, also living with other people again that I have to share space with.  The television has become an attention stealer again, I like to blame DVR technology and it’s wonderful convenience.  The computer and my lovely cell phone are controlling my life again.  There was a time I would turn the phone off for a while, now I’m back to having it at my side, a constant interruption.  There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these things if used sparingly but I’m to a point where it’s all too much. 

Distractions dissolve discernment.

Just writing all of these things down helps me to see the place I’ve journeyed to.  The land of distraction, I’ve pitched a tent.  I have been through this before and had to tear up those stakes I’ve driven in the ground.  This is definitely a place I don’t want to live in.  When I get distracted by all of the things around me I lose my peace and purpose.  I lose sight of what God’s still small voice is trying to tell me.  Then I wonder around aimlessly from one day to another, accomplishing nothing for God or with God.  But the good news is I can make those changes with His help.  I’ve made decisions in the past to leave everything off and do my devotion time first, starting my day with God.  I’ve taken thirty day breaks from Facebook.  I’ve turned my phone off and went to a quiet place to read the bible or pray.  I know for my start this week I have a new Beth Moore member book ordered that I’m anxious to begin.  With that I can focus on God’s word through the study in a more organized way.  And I also realize I am going to have to make myself prioritize quiet time with God, I can’t be passive about it.  Following Jesus is not about “works” but sometimes I do have to dig my heels in with some good old fashioned discipline and say NO to the things that try to steal my time away from Him.

Distractions dissolve discernment.

Have you let distractions take you away from time with God?  What practical changes can you make starting today? 

Pray for me and I’ll pray for you!

The Written Word

I still believe in the magic of a book, the importance of the written word.
What movie comes that hasn’t been first expressed by the words of a writer, pouring out their thoughts, their heart?
The capacity for words to initiate such deep feelings in the reader cannot be ignored.
There is such a beauty, an escape, when a writer can make you feel. 
Prompt you to react.
It is enchanting. 
And I love it!