I distinctly remember a particular week in June of 2005. I went out on a second date and ended up still feeling empty, it was obvious the dating situation was going nowhere; I had no real romantic feelings. I was depressed there was no other guy to take away the loneliness. At the end of the week I was supposed to be taking a girl’s trip to Gatlinburg, Tennessee with my best friend. At the beginning of that week I was on my way to work and had a car accident, my car versus a tractor trailer. Thankfully it was a low speed crash and I wasn’t seriously injured. I felt like at that time not much more could go wrong in my life.
I made it to Tennessee for the weekend. What was supposed to be an awesome get away ended up feeling even emptier. Not only did I not have a good time, I was miserable. I turned to alcohol again; I bought wine coolers to drink in the hotel room in an effort to relax. It didn’t help anything. It didn’t make me happy. During the trip, we went shopping at the outlet malls and I found myself gravitating to a bookstore. Inside, I ended up in the Christian book section and bought two Christian books, I didn’t know why.
When I returned home from the trip I was so sad. I called my friend who had found God and told him I had not had a good vacation. I told him,” I have never felt more lost in my life.” I was at my lowest point and lost was the best description of how I felt. He said that he was going to come by and pick me up to take me to Wal-Mart because I needed to buy a book he had been reading called “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. He explained that you read one chapter a day for forty days. I agreed to go get a copy of the book.
I started reading the book and was amazed. For me, being so in the dark about church and what the bible said I was suddenly getting answers to questions I always wondered about. And several days into the book, while reading in my bedroom that night, I came to the end of the chapter and the author explained what I had to do to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. Ask for forgiveness for my sins, believe and receive Him as Lord in order to begin a relationship with Him. I finally understood what that meant and I came to the realization that I had been looking at things the wrong way, I wasn’t good. No one is apart from God. I knew I needed forgiveness. I was ready to ask Jesus these things, so I knelt down and prayed to Him.
One of the most profound things about accepting Jesus as my Savior was going from feeling alone so often to comprehending I had NEVER been alone! I had a new relationship with my Creator and my life made more sense after that than it ever had before when I thought I was in control of everything. Did accepting Christ erase all of life’s problems? Of course not! I still had to work through my hurts, my shortcomings, and bad habits. I am still growing now, but from that moment on that is where my new life began. It changed my perspective on life. It was not about me all of the time there was something so much bigger than me. I no longer had to fear death because receiving forgiveness through Christ’s sacrifice on the cross meant I could have eternal life in heaven! I also had the guidance of the Holy Spirit after accepting Jesus, so my level of discernment grew, I could understand Scripture in a way I never had before. Since I wasn’t raised in church, even the most common stories from the bible were new to me. I couldn’t get enough of the bible and the new knowledge about God I was absorbing. I discovered my idea about what made a person good had to line up with what God’s word said, not my own scale of morality. I desired to be with other believer’s and I found a church to go to where I continued to grow in my new faith. They became like another family to me. I experienced a love that was supernatural, He helped me to love myself and others in a way I never had in the past. The emptiness I had felt was gone when I started a relationship with Jesus. The hole in my heart was filled with the only One that could complete it. Nothing in this world ever did or ever will compare with how He loves me. I am thankful for His grace to a girl that had no earthly reason to receive it and still could never deserve it in her own strength.
Jesus is always with us, we don’t have to be in a church service to accept Him as our Savior as my own life has shown. We can pray to receive Him at any time or anywhere. I pray that you will consider where you are in your life. What do you believe about life and death? Pushing the thought aside will not change the fact that death comes to us all. I pushed the thought away for many years and occupied myself any way I could. If you are confused about faith please look for the answers, it is too important to ignore. Do you feel like you don’t know how to accept Him? The bible says in Romans 10:9,” If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” You believe in Christ and you confess that belief, ask for the forgiveness of your sins.
When I look back over this time in my life I see God's footprints all over it, He was drawing me unto Himself! Is He trying to get your attention right now in your circumstances? My hope in sharing this story is to lead others to the love of Christ and to glorify Him for what He has done. Honestly there is SO much more I could share about the little and big ways God has shown Himself in my life but this has been long enough for a blog post! Please if you have any questions about my experience or questions about faith feel free to email me, smithbl144@gmail.com Have a great week and God bless!
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